The first two weeks

I don't think I fully understood what people meant when they told me that each one is different. Skadi is so not Leif. First off, she sleeps.

We came home from the hospital on Saturday the 24th. That afternoon had been rough at the hospital and had necessitated a call back to the pain in the ass pediatrician on call. Skadi went to the nursery nurse since she wouldn't stop screaming, she recommended a call to the ped. The ped responded that he was sure she was fine, she was fine earlier, take her home and if things didn't get better call her doctor. Everyone said things would get better when we got home.

They didn't. They got worse. What is a worse feeling that hear your newborn scream at the top of her lungs, refuse to nurse and be totally inconsolable. I had an inkling it was food related, so I kept trying to get her to nurse. I tried pumping, I tried hand expressing. I got no colustrum. But I knew that it takes so very little to nourish them, I didn't worry too much.

Finally we called our doctor and got an on call doctor. We went through a litany of questions with him, he didn't feel it was gas, etc. He finally recommended we give her an ounce of formula and see if that didn't calm her. I was so at my wits end that I didn't even balk at this. Me, who prided myself on the fact that my son never took formula, didn't blink an eye at preparing a bottle of formula. She ate like a ravenous little beast.

I cried. I had been starving my baby. I had no colustrum that I could find. Sunday she was formula fed - and I tried nursing her in between . Monday finally came and I had colustrum! I was shocked as the gold liquid finally dripped upon expression. It still wasn't enough for her and so until my milk came in (full force) she was formula supplemented. I felt a little guilt in that I could not provide for her, more guilt that I didn't see that she was so hungry, but mostly relieved that we found the answer. I was angry that so often on discussion boards and among seasoned breastfeeders they insist that you do not need formula, that colustrum is enough. I know, because I was one of those people. It isn't always. And thank goodness for that canister of sample formula that I had set aside to go to the women's shelter.

Eating has straightened out. Skadi isn't much for the pacifier, she is picky about the brand, though she is sucking on one now in my arms asleep.

She isn't an "easy" baby like Leif was (except for sleep). She is a little fussy, wants what she wants five minutes ago. But did I mention she sleeps?

Evidently we paid our due with Leif. Who was up nearly every 2 hours when he was a baby. When he was a young toddler he was up about every 3 hours. We heard all the excuses and fixes - we shouldn't have let him cosleep they said (well it was the only way I got more than 3 hours straight and I had to work the next day). We needed to let him "cry it out". No can do. I can not let a child of mine just cry himself to sleep. We have now conquered most of the sleep issues with him, though he is usually (as of late) up at least once a night, if not twice.

In this area, he is giving Skadi a run for her money. I go to bed about 10pm with Skadi, wake her to nurse. About 2am she either awakes fussing, or I awake hearing her poop. (Lovely sound to wake to.) I change her, get her fully awake and nurse her. Most of the time then she sleeps until about 6am, wakes for a quick bite and falls back asleep until who knows when. We usually get her up and around about 8am, but she would probably sleep longer. Excuse me while I find more wood to knock on.

So we are sleeping. I am more rested than I ever have been with Leif.

Eat, sleep, poop. That's about it. I find it incredibly difficult to get out of the house with both kids. My diaper bag is well stocked, better than it was with Leif at this point. I would haul Skadi most anywhere, but I have a little paranoia about cold season and RSV. (Says the woman who has a toddler in daycare...) Also I am having a fairly slow recovery post-partum wise.

So onto me. I had no tearing, and an easy delivery. On the outside, I am healed and everything is great. However, not quite so on the inside apparently. I guess they were serious when they said no lifting anything heavier than Skadi. And Leif, is definitely heavier than Skadi. But I just struggle with this. I do my best to get down on the floor with him instead of lift him up. But there are just times when lifting him is my only recourse (like when I tried to drag him into daycare the other day and he didn't want to go). So suffice it to say, sitting on the couch, taking it easy as much as I can, is a good thing for me lately. And I won't go into more details than necessary.

Two weeks down and everything is really good. I am not around the computer a lot because AB is job hunting AND trying to finish his Masters. So he dominates the computer. I pop on and blog when I can - so I can reach the most people at once. I read e-mail. And on occasion pop onto a discussion board. I really should pop over to the pregnancy board I participated in - I hope they know or assume I delivered!

Skadi's Birth Story

Skadi Jeanne
Born 3-23-07
7 lbs 15 oz
19” long

I went to bed Thursday night (the 22nd), pretty sure I was going to make it to my induction on Saturday. Nothing had changed, minor contractions still ongoing, dilation and effacement still the same.

I think I was sleeping pretty lightly because I remember feeling the first gush of my water breaking, then the second gush, and then jumping up and out of bed. I woke up quickly. I hurried to the bathroom and on my way there yelled to AB that my water had just broken. He bounded out of bed and dove for the phone. I was in the bathroom and I think he must have dialed our best friend’s phone number at least 14 times with all the phone beeps I heard.

I yelled at him that I wasn’t having contractions, so we could take it easy. I wanted to make sure he told K and V that, I didn’t want them racing out. And in fact, I had thought briefly about waiting until closer to morning (it was 2:20am) to call them so they could sleep more. Then I thought better of it and proceeded to pack the few last minute items into my bag. Then I called the birthing center to let them know we were on our way.

V showed up to stay at our house for Leif. AB and I got in the car and left for the hospital. I was trying to calculate the time my mom would be up in Colorado, knowing she was flying out early to arrive here that morning. We got to the hospital about 3am, 4am her time. I wanted to sit in the car for a few minutes before going in, so I finally decided to call her. Amazingly enough, she was up and in the shower getting ready to leave. I told my stepdad what was going on and to have her call when she had time, but that V would pick her up at the airport.

We got checked in and went to the birthing center. Our first nurse was Jami, who was nice, but a little scattered. After the barrage of tests… yes, my water had broken, no I wasn’t really dilated well, and yes I was having mild contractions, no the baby was not in distress, she went and called my doctor. She ordered me to drink as much juice as I could to try and get the baby to be active and maybe send me into harder labor. She then ordered us to walk the halls for as long as I could. Up and down the hallway we went. They had clocks and it took about 2 minutes to do a full lap. That means we walked up and down A LOT. Slowly the sun began to rise and I thought a lot about Leif at home, wondering how he was doing and how he would deal with us not being there when he woke up. I got teary thinking about him.

At about 6am we were sick of walking and I sat on the birthing ball and we watched the news. Contractions were still minimal at best. I could feel them, but they were mild and not very regular. At 7am our new nurse Olivia came on. She checked me and said I was maybe 2 cm dilated. She encouraged me to eat some breakfast, and drink some juice saying when my doctor came by in the next half hour to hour, he would probably want to start me on pitocin.

I ordered cream of wheat and whole wheat toast and it tasted so good for some reason. About 30 minutes later my doctor came in, not horribly surprised to see me, but a little surprised it seems that my membranes had ruptured spontaneously. He became quite annoyed though (at my previous nurse) when he found out that I was essentially not having contractions. She did not tell him this when she called at 4am.

Dr. M checked me and I thought I was going to climb the walls. It was the most painful internal exam I had to that point. He said he wanted to feel the head and wow, he was determined. I could feel the tears in my eyes and he was apologizing. I remember telling him no, to please keep looking, I was fine. Suddenly he gets a weird look on his face and says, “well there’s an arm… that’s not good”. A few seconds later he finished the exam. He walked over to my breakfast tray to see what I had eaten, ordered no more food or drinks, ice chips only.

He told us that the baby was in “shoulder presentation”, only the second he had in 10 years and amazingly enough the other one was just the previous week. He said that if the baby didn’t move into head down, I would not be having a vaginal delivery. He said he had pinched the babies arm/hand in hopes of getting him/her to retract the arm. He ordered high dose pitocin in hopes of finding out what the next step would be quickly. The high dose pitocin would either help get the baby into position, or indicate the need for a c-section quickly.

The pitocin confined me to bed and necessitated an IV. After about 20 minutes I started having contractions. Of course the copious amounts of juice I had drunk earlier were necessitating trips to the bathroom regularly when the nurse would come in to check me.

At 9:30am I started recognizing the pains with the contractions. I knew they were only going to get more painful since I was only 5 cm dilated – the same point at which I had an epidural with Leif. I was already confined to bed and so I asked for an epidural. My anesthesiologist arrived within 10 minutes. I had hoped it would be the same anesthesiologist as I had with Leif, but it wasn’t. It was a woman with an “Army” cap on. As if I couldn’t already guess she had been in the military simply from her mannerisms. Wow, her epidural was as perfect, if not better, then the one I had with Leif. I was still quite mobile. Then came the part I really dreaded – the catheter. I had to have one since the nurse noted how much I was going before the epidural and they really wanted to keep my bladder empty so that the baby wouldn’t have any impediments between that warm safe place and the exit. I don’t know why I had neurosed so much about the catheter though! I had already had the epidural! It was no big deal.

Within 5 minutes life was good again, and then even better when my mom walked in as they were cleaning up from the epidural.

The next check presented good news, the baby was head down and the arm/hand was out of the way. Dr. M came by at 11am and was happy to say that this baby was coming vaginally and no c-section would be necessary due to the awkward presentation. Of course, the baby was still at -2 position and I think this is the point where the term “floppy cervix” started being thrown around. The thought really cracked me up and both my doctor and the nurse agreed there was just no other way to explain it. It quickly became a joke.

We watched the Travel channel and visited. The epidural really is a very good thing. Time flew by and soon it was 1pm. I was shocked when my doctor told me I was 8 cm dilated, but still -2 station. He was going to go close his office upstairs and when he finished up, he would come back and I would be ready to push.

He returned at about 1:30pm and we chatted, he helped Olivia break down the bed and get things ready. He went to check me again and announced I was now +1 station and that we were having a baby! Olivia got on the pager and called for the nursery nurse and the labor and delivery assistant as well as a mirror since I wanted to see. The mirror made it there just in time for me to see the baby crowning, well about halfway since the angle was off. Dr. M instructed me to push, then quickly said the head was out! (Push number 1) He said to push again, I did (push 2) and our daughter was born.

AB told me I was right. I asked him what he meant? He said, “it’s a girl!”

The nursery nurse and the L&D assistant arrived well after she was born. She was given oxygen and apgars of 8 (deducted for color) and 9. The placenta came out and Dr. M was making comments and notes about it, I caught that it was tiny. I asked to see and our nurse brought it over and explained that the placenta was not only quite small, but the cord was also “tortuous”. It was very nodular and not smooth. She told me it was rare to have a baby born this healthy with a small placenta and tortuous cord. I felt very lucky.

Skadi wasn’t named for a few hours after her birth. AB and I just couldn’t decide and wanted to take the time think about her name, much to everyone else’s dismay. Her first bassinette card says “Baby Girl Carman”. Finally we decided her name was Skadi. It was one of our top two names. I had been unsure about the name to that point, just with it being so different. It held a lot of meaning for AB and I, and I suppose in the end I was more concerned that I would forever regret NOT using the name if we went with the other option. When AB voiced that he wanted her to be named Skadi, I easily went with that.