39 week appointment

Stats:
Gained 1 lb - total 24 lbs gained this pregnancy
BP - 120/60
Heartrate - 126 bpm

I have been having contractions since Sunday, the problem is that when I sit down they go away. I thought last night might have been a turning point for me when I was woken three times by contractions, mild contractions, but a few while laying down. I was optimistic that today would be the day. Maybe I wouldn't even make it to my appointment? I thought of all the things like how would V get Leif's suitcase if we took Leif to daycare and went to the hospital? (Made mental note to tell her the garage door code to get in and get his bag as well as a key to the house, and to tell her to take the Morrocan short ribs in the crock pot... certainly if I made a big crock pot meal we wouldn't be there to eat it... right?)

I tried to work on Monday, but it was just fruitless. I was emotional, I didn't want to be there, I was done. I needed to be home. Tuesday my doctor wrote me out of work. I am officially on leave and my doctor feels strongly that I should not be at work and that yes, I should be home at this point, no doubt. We will see if the underwriter for my short term disability feels the same way...

Once again, the appointment did not follow the plan that I would walk in and he would check me and tell me the baby was on the way. Instead, there was much discussion and one seemingly perplexed doctor. (Never a great feeling.)

He checked me once and then went back for a second check. My dilation was of a conical nature. He declared me "wide open" on the external side of the cervix and "barely open" on the internal side. Last week the baby had moved down and he could feel the head on my cervix and not externally. This week, the baby's head was felt external. He feels that until the baby drops more, I will not go into labor. The contractions I am having are moving my external cervix along, but until the baby moves down I will not dilate from the inside. He is concerned.

My doctor is out Saturday, Sunday and Monday. He has me scheduled for a non-stress test on Monday morning and providing all is well, I will see him again a week from today for my 40.5 week exam. If at that point things are the same (and hinted that he thought it was likely they would be), he would like to schedule an induction for Thursday, Friday or Saturday.

I told him I would prefer to proceed naturally, of course. I am not relishing the thought of an induction, but am willing to keep an open mind. A healthy baby is paramount in my mind.

I was a week overdue with Leif and truthfully, fine with that. I was nervous, frightened of birthing a baby. I don't have those fears this time around - probably because I had such a fantastic birth experience with Leif. I went into labor naturally at 41 weeks and birthed him after finally accepting an epidural with no complications and minimal tearing (1 stitch).

The thought of being a week overdue this time is not only frustrating to me (knowing what is on the other side and how bad I want to meet this baby), but with a second pregnancy raises flags.

We will see what happens. The baby may drop (again and further) and I may go into labor. I hope.