The Shower

It was really very nice. Everyone was over the top generous. I did not expect a shower with this baby, nor need one. It truly was the last thing from my mind, especially since Leif is only 2.5 years old and I have so much stuff still from him that is perfectly fine and usable. Truly, I am overwhelmed by the generosity.

I don't think I will have to buy diapers for at least 6 months. (Which makes me wonder if they did take my suggestion to just do a "diapers and other disposible essentials" shower?)

In addition to the diapers we received:

-Target gift card
-The softest little mini blanket ever (and the one I seriously contemplated buying when I did my Target trip for the baby a few months ago)
-2 Hooded towels
-8 washclothes
-A homemade, very fluffy hooded towel.
-Starbucks gift card (that will take a hit tomorrow morning)
-Safeway gift card
-2 pairs of tiny socks
-3 bibs (one says "are they really my relatives" and another says "I love my big brother")
-3 flannel receiving blankets
-3 sleepers (0-3 mos)
-Matching mittens to the sleepers
-Rubber duckies and a loofah
-Burp rags
-A "Sweet Pea" onesie that is way too cute
-A "New baby" ornament
-Two containers of wipes
-Two bottles of shampoo
-A growth chart
-A yellow fleece monkey blanket
-Matching yellow fleece monkey overalls that are WAY cute.
-Candles (for me)
-2 picture frames for my black and white wall
-Baby wash
-Baby slippers
-Stuffed bear

Like I said, way generous and thoughtful too. I am beside myself.

37 week appointment

All is good. My ob was in a great mood. He usually is, he is just a great guy all around. I have gained 2 lbs since last week! (I remember with Leif that I put on weight during the last few weeks as well.) My bp was 102/58… I have to have the lowest blood pressure for a pregnant woman ever I think. I am starting to wonder if this new nurse just doesn't know how to properly take blood pressures.

The biggest concern my doctor has right now is this cold I seem to have happened upon and has taken up residence in my system. He is concerned that I picked it up about 5 days ago and am still feeling pretty crappy. He told me this cold that is going around is a lingering one that has a tendency to move into the chest… great. Nearly every cold I get moves to my chest, but one that is known for moving to the chest, ugh, not good. If it hasn’t cleared up by Monday I am to call and let him know and he will put me on antibiotics. If I come down with a fever or anything before Monday I am to call for antibiotics. (Yeah, really thrilled now that Leif has had a low grade fever off and on with the exact same cold the last day and a half… ) He also indicated that going into labor with a cold is far less than desirable so I am to work hard in getting rid of it before then and not doing anything that may provoke labor. Lots of rest, fluids, vitamins, etc.

Baby is still head down, I still have “room to grow” (where, I will never understand), and he says the baby is feeling very average sized. He asked me to remind him what Leif weighed (7 lbs 9 oz) and he said he anticipated about the same with this baby. Works for me!

So no labor vibes until this cold clears, despite the fact that I feel about ready to burst. Let’s see… he asked about names and we didn’t even share the (many) prospects with our doctor. AB told him we want to get it narrowed down to two for each gender. AB also told him that he thinks it is a boy, which is for us, unfortunately the harder names to choose.

37 weeks 2 days, and yes, I am huge

Up until this point most people who see me and know me say, "wow, really? You are only X weeks from your due date? You look great!" The past two days I have gotten a number of comments along the lines of, "wow, you are getting really big" or "you are still around, I figured you would have had that baby" and another "on you poor thing, you just look so ready to have that baby!"

And yes, I am getting big, I was mildly hoping to go into labor this weekend (even though I am not all the way ready) but I am still a few weeks from my due date, and yes, I feel like a "poor thing" (especially with the cold), but I am not thrilled to find out I am exuding all these vibes to everyone around me.

Colds suck. It arrived slowly on Thursday, took hold on Friday, melded with my body on Saturday, and remained at that same status for Sunday and today. Normally when I get a cold it comes on, I have one day of pure misery and then start feeling better. Not this time around. So in addition to getting up every two hours to pee, I am getting up every hour between that to cough and blow my nose. AB is thrilled. Me? I really am hoping for a single night of good sleep before this baby arrives.

Oh and I loved what my grandma told me about if I had this cold when having the baby... "oh no, they will quarantine the baby, you have to get over the cold first". Yeah, probably back in 1950 when she had her kids they would have quarantined them. Not now. I told her I doubted that and reminded her I would be bringing the baby home to germ-ville where a toddler in daycare resides.

We are getting closer in being ready. This weekend we got the nursery set up again, kind of. The queen guest bed is in there and the crib is put back in place. All of Leif's things are out of the room and in his big boy room. AB got baby stuff out of the attic and I started sorting itty bitty things. The dresser arrived today and needs to be assembled. The carseat is down out of the attic and the pad has been washed. It can officially be installed at any point. I pulled two bags out to start packing for the hospital.

To Do:

1. Call short term disability underwriter group THIS week to tell them to be expecting my "disability" claim.
2. Set up dresser
3. Pack bag (LIGHTLY) for the hospital.
-Camera and extra batteries (charging)
-Videocamera
-iPod and little speakers
-Going home outfits
-Comfy, but decent looking clothes for me going home. (Don’t forget nursing bra!)
-Travel size containers of shampoo, conditioner, lotion, deoderant etc.
-Brush
-Toothbrush
-Chapstick
-Hair bands
-Soft socks
-Baby book
-Gift for Leif from baby
-Insurance forms
-Pens
-Change for AB for vending and cash for coffee stand
-Baby mittens
-Lansinoh
-(What else?)
4. Install infant carseat and get checked.
5. Pack Leif a bag for staying at our friends.
-Underwear
-Clothes
-Pajamas-
-Extra carseat (maybe… depending on who might have to pick him up.)
-Blanket
-Pillow
-Teddy bear or lion
-Lunchbox
6. Write up list of phone numbers for taking to the hospital.
7. Write up Leif and Winny “instructions” – outline of his day, etc.

What I will be listening to

Organized loosely by genre... so that if I do not want to listen to 80's while birthing, they are all in one spot.

Name - Artist
I Ran - A Flock of Seagulls
The Safety Dance - Men Without Hats
Come on Eileen - Dexy's Midnight Runners
Don't You (Forget About Me) - Simple Minds
Need You Tonight - INXS
Pretty In Pink - The Psychedelic Furs
Under the Milky Way - The Church
Friday I'm In Love - The Cure
She's My Ex - All
(I've Had) The Time of My Life - Bill Medley & Jennifer Warnes
Take On Me - a-ha
I Melt With You - Modern English
Shine Like It Does - INXS
Lips Like Sugar - Echo And The Bunnymen
Fast Car - Tracy Chapman
In a Big Country - Big Country
Walk on the Wild Side - Lou Reed
(The Angels Wanna Wear My) Red Shoes - Elvis Costello
Hot Rod Lincoln - All
When Doves Cry - Prince
Original Sin - INXS
She Drives Me Crazy - Fine Young Cannibals
Let's Go To Bed - The Cure
White Wedding, Pt. 1 - Billy Idol
Alison - Elvis Costello
Kiss - Prince
Mighty Long Way - Fishbone
She's Crafty - Beastie Boys
If I Should Fall From Grace With God - The Pogues
I'm Gonna Be (500 Miles) - The Proclaimers
Superman's Song - Crash Test Dummies
Tiny Dancer - Ben Folds
Bittersweet - Big Head Todd & The Monsters
Cannonball - The Breeders
Summertime - The Sundays
No Rain - Blind Melon
Closer To Fine - Indigo Girls
Birdhouse In Your Soul - They Might Be Giants
Other Side Of The World - KT Tunstall
Looking At the World from the Bottom of a Well - Mike Doughty
Think I An In Love - Beck
Into the Ocean (Live & Acoustic) - Blue October
Breathe Me - Sia
Suddenly I See - KT Tunstall
Steal My Kisses - Ben Harper & The Innocent Criminals
Crazy - Gnarls Barkley
Black Horse & The Cherry Tree - KT Tunstall
Take Me Home, Country Roads - John Denver
Landslide - Dixie Chicks
Piano Man - Billy Joel
Maggie May - Rod Stewart
Dead Flowers - The Rolling Stones
Quality Shoe - Mark Knopfler
The 59th Street Bridge Song (Feelin' Groovy) - Simon & Garfunkel
Are You Tired Of Me Darling - Nanci Griffith
Wild Horses - The Rolling Stones
America - Simon & Garfunkel
Skateaway - Dire Straits
Sweet Baby James - James Taylor
Boots Of Spanish Leather - Nanci Griffith
Prairie Wedding - Mark Knopfler
Tangled Up In Blue - Bob Dylan
The Boxer - Simon & Garfunkel
Buckets Of Rain - Bob Dylan
Tecumseh Valley - Nanci Griffith
Sailing To Philadelphia - Mark Knopfler
Romeo & Juliet - Dire Straits
Shelter From The Storm - Bob Dylan

Another work week down

I left today with a component that needed to be welded (or rewelded as the case may be) sitting on my desk, a simulation running on my computer, which means my computer is on and online, a report scribbled out on a piece of paper that needs to go to the PI and a document that needs to be sent off to DC in my triple locked file cabinet upstairs.

I left today and locked my door behind me.

It is Leif and I at home this evening as AB ventures out for wings and a few beers with his closest friend here.

The infant carseat is still in the attic. My bag isn't packed, nor is Leif's.

A few contractions, here and there since I got home.

Paranoid.

So not the same

One of the single guys I used to work with frequently came by my office today. Really great guy. He and I get along well and frequently have good talks.

Today though, he just about killed me. He went to Portland last weekend and bought a new bike. Well he intended to buy a new bike. He got there ready to fork over a few thousand dollars and lo and behold, they didn't have the bike in stock in his size. He came home instead with pedals, and both rear and front lights and a receipt for his bike that will be shipped about the time I am due.

He told me he could totally understand how I feel right now anticipating the birth of this baby as he waits for his bike.

Yeah, so not the same thing.

Feb 21, 2007: 36 weeks 3 days

My 36 week appointment was today and all went well. Since AB is now jobless, he went with me. We both really like my ob, and so he was happy to see him. He always says he could see us being friends with he and his wife. Yeah, me notsomuch. My friends have seen plenty of me above the waist from a year of nursing Leif... I would prefer my friends also not have seen me below the waist.

Stats:
BP - 110/60
Weight - Gain of 3 lbs in 2 weeks. (!!!) Up a total of 21 lbs.
Heartrate - 136-140 bpm

Dr. M helped me lean back onto the table and went to feel for the baby and was surprised by a massive flip. He wow's and marvelled at the strength and even said, "that was weird" a few times. He asked me if I was sure the baby had been head down the last few weeks because he could have sworn the baby just did a 180. I reassured him that it has definitely been head down... want to see the bruises on my ribs? And actually it wasn't *that* huge of a flip.

We talked about labor signs and when to go to the hospital at this point. (Basically whenever.) To call if there is a decrease in movement, etc. Think we are set to go there. He reitterated that we are set to go at this point and that 38 weeks is an awfully good time to birth. (I agree with him.)

It was the GBS swab day. Lovely. So I stripped from the waist down. I am quite positive that AB was more disappointed that he didn't check me for progress. In fact, he stopped him and said, "aren't you going to check for dilation?" He said, "well I can next week, but if she isn't having regular contractions then I doubt there is progress".

All I really heard though was "next week". Weekly appointments. Yikes. I am, really truly am, *that* close. Panic.

Oh yeah, I started writing my birth plan. Ha! I doubt I will need a lactation consultant (something I wrote in last time). I have no desire to try for 100% natural this time... epidural me. (Though I will labor naturally as long as I feel like it.) I finally told AB I am just going to walk in with a piece of paper that says "Birth plan - Give me an epidural when I start to cry".

Current list:

1. Ordered dresser for the nursery, set it up when it arrives.
2. Bring the baby stuff down out of the attic (AB this week!).
3. Sort through the baby stuff. Figure out what should be donated versus kept and washed.
4. Buy size 1 diapers
5. Pack bag (LIGHTLY) for the hospital.
-Camera and extra batteries
-Videocamera
-iPod and little speakers (update and organize iPod - make birth playlist so Big Brown Beaver doesn't come on while birthing.)
-Going home outfits
-Comfy, but decent looking clothes for me going home. Maternity is a must... silly me last time thought I would be going home in regular clothes. (Don’t forget nursing bra!)
-Travel size containers of shampoo etc.
-Brush
-Toothbrush
-Chapstick
-Hair bands
-Soft socks
-Baby book
-Gift for Leif from baby
-Insurance forms
-(What else?)
6. Install infant carseat and get checked.
7. Pack Leif a bag for staying at our friends.
-Underwear
-Clothes
-Pajamas
-Extra carseat (maybe… depending on who might have to pick him up.)
-Blanket
-Pillow
-Teddy bear or lion
-Lunchbox
8. Write up list of phone numbers for taking to the hospital.
9. List of e-mails for AB.
10. Write up Leif “instructions” – outline of his day, etc.

Hypocrite me

Today I got a phone call from a girl I work with. She tells me that she is organizing a lunch for me before I go on leave. Sounds like fun I tell her and she asks who she should invite. I give her names.

The lunch escalated and now between she, my former admin and one of my current admins they are hosting a "shower" next Wednesday. I said no, I told my former admin on the phone that I needed nothing, I just had Leif only 2.5 years ago, etc. She shushed me and said they wanted to do it and told me working in a group of nearly all guys is hard enough, they have to relish some girl time. Gack.

My "shower" is next Wednesday, lunchtime. I actually have no idea who all is invited. My invite was sent under a different header then everyone else's with a warning "be there or else".

I feel bad... kind of. I feel bad because I am not a second showers person, not really even a first showers person! And here they are doing this. And all the advice I pan out on pregnancy discussion boards on how to tell your host "no" or to insist on a diaper shower, just flew out the window. She would not take no for an answer.

The "kind of" part in the statement above is my selfish side. When Leif was born my group did nothing. I had pitched in for countless wedding presents, new baby presents, going away gifts, retirement gifts, etc. Then I had my first child and got nothing, didn't even get a card. My feelings were hurt. I did have a small shower months prior hosted by two of my admins and included about 8-10 women, a few I worked with, a few friends and a few wives of people I worked with. So I should qualify my "nothing" statement above.

Anyways, here I am... eating crow. My mom told me to calm down and get over it. Be grateful that they want to do something - especially since they didn't with Leif! Yeah, yeah. Still feeling a twinge of guilt.

Damn horoscope

Making me paranoid!

“Make finishing as many things as you can your primary task today. Get stuff done!”

Yeah, yeah, yeah. I am trying.

February 12, 2007: 35 weeks 1 day

Six days until my doctor said he will let me go into labor and not stop it! Not that I actually feel as though I am going to go into labor… I have a lot more aches, pains and contractions than I ever did with Leif, but I can only hope they are pointing me in that direction. AB said I can’t have the baby until March since he bought me March birthstone earrings (for my birthday). Yeah… I am not preventing this baby from coming in favor of my earrings! (Which I love regardless.) Even my big industry client banquet on March 5th isn’t looking more appealing than birthing this child… that says something.

I went through my list of things to do and was shocked at how much I was able to pull off the list. I pulled the painting off since it is most of the way done. Bought shelves for Leif’s room this weekend (but I need to go back and pick up the second set of shelves since they were out of stock).

I ordered a dresser for the baby’s room since we will be moving the painted one into Leif’s room. He is particularly attached at least to the knobs. I spent hours looking for the “right” dresser both in stores and online. Online is far less expensive, but then the shipping and handling charges are more than I can stomach, with the added bummer of not being able to put my hands on the dresser. But our selection locally just isn’t what I want. If I weren’t so far along, we would have driven over to Seattle for a night to do some shopping.

So after all this searching and hunting I just happened to wander over to Sears.com (I never go there because I cannot stand that store), where I found pretty much exactly what I wanted for about half the price and a $45 shipping fee. I looked at it a few times this morning and then finally stuck it in my cart and hit “check out”. In the picture it doesn’t look like a piece-o-crap, but the price has me skeptical. AB reminded me that it was inexpensive enough that if it only works for 2 years and then we dump it in favor of a “set” for this child, it won’t be a big deal.

It is a blue five drawer wooden dresser. The knobs are very plain and so once I have the baby, I am planning on adding new knobs to the list pending the gender outcome. (I saw the most adorable ladybug knobs at Target.com.)

Hormones have been getting the better of me lately. If I am not in tears (most recently, thank you Grey’s Anatomy) then I am cranky. I was sobbing out of sheer frustration on Saturday as I loaded laundry up. Leif sat there laughing at me (I am sure he thought I was laughing), which only made me cry harder. Amazingly though, AB told me the other day he thought I was more hormonal when I was pregnant with Leif. I disagreed, but he said I am just better at shielding myself from things I know will get to me right now then I was with Leif.

I am finding my work load picking up, which isn’t exactly what I hoped to happen at this point. Luckily, a lot of it is desk work. I will have a little lab work sometime this week or next depending on when some parts arrive and then I am really hoping to say bye to the lab until I get back from maternity leave.

The new list:

1. Paint elephant on the wall of the guest room and move Leif’s toys.
2. Ordered dresser for the nursery, set it up when it arrives.
3. Bring the baby stuff down out of the attic.
4. Sort through the baby stuff. Figure out what should be donated versus kept and washed.
5. Buy size 1 diapers
6. Pack bag (LIGHTLY) for the hospital.
-Camera and extra batteries
-Videocamera
-iPod and little speakers
-oing home outfits
-Comfy, but decent looking clothes for me going home. Maternity is a must... silly me last time thought I would be going home in regular clothes. (Don’t forget nursing bra!)
-Travel size containers of shampoo etc.
-Brush
-Toothbrush
-Chapstick
-Hair bands
-Soft socks
-Baby book
-Gift for Leif from baby
-Insurance forms
-(What else?)
7. Install infant carseat and get checked.
8. Pack Leif a bag for staying at our friends.
-Underwear
-Clothes
-Diapers for night (maybe… we will see how he does sans diapers in the next few days)
-Pajamas
-Extra carseat (maybe… depending on who might have to pick him up.)
-Blanket
-Pillow
-Teddy bear or lion
-Lunchbox
9. Birth plan. Ok, so I really didn't need it last time, but I need to have it just to remind me.
10. Write up list of phone numbers for taking to the hospital.
11. Write up Leif “instructions” – outline of his day, etc.

You know you look like you are ready to burst when...

you are in Safeway’s Express checkout with six items; milk, eggs, bacon, hamburger buns, a sandwich and a muffin, and after checking out the clerk looks at you and says, “let me get someone to help you out with that”.

(Rolling my eyes.)

I have been a real grump today. A RL friend of mine, who is also pregnant, and I commiserated about this the other evening. I was never this cranky with Leif. She agreed that she wasn’t with her son either. And her husband has confirmed all this with me, he tiptoes around the house afraid to awaken the beast within. She talked to her midwife about it in passing and her midwife told her that it all makes sense really, she is probably having a girl!

And actually, she doesn’t know what she is having yet. She is about 16 weeks along and not scheduled yet for her big ultrasound. But her midwife said that the placenta is full of hormones, estrogen if it is a girl, testosterone if it is a boy. So if you are really cranky, it is most likely an overabundance of estrogen in your body because you are carrying a girl.

I am torn between being the naïve non-biologist who says “oh makes sense!” Or the other side, the skeptical scientist who rolls her eyes (like I did above) and says if it is that easy to tell the gender why hasn’t this been further exploited? Or put on all those websites with the old wives tales to determine the gender of your baby… something like “Are you a serious pain in the rear to those around you? Ok you are having a girl.”

A surprise

The other night at book club, after discussion and during dessert, the women presented me with a very nice gift card for photographs with a local photographer! I was so taken aback. It was so generous and a complete surprise.

I am not a second shower person. Hell, I am not a big first shower person, though I look forward to attending them and picking out perfect little gifts when invited! My baby shower was nice, 10 or so women, low key, no games, just getting together and visiting. I didn’t know many people in this area and so the last thing I expected was a shower. And truly, I didn’t care if I had one or not. Two of my admins at the time, organized it and invited a number of wives of the men I worked with. I was really uncomfortable with this at the time since I didn’t know most of them! They finally convinced me that anyone that was uncomfortable with this wouldn’t come. I bought it and resolved to just be thankful for their generosity. I did end up fostering good friendships with a few of the women there.

I read the pregnancy discussion boards and it KILLS me how so many women view showers as their God given right. A shower is a gift, expecting others to outfit your nursery or provide essentials for your baby is presumptuous and greedy, IMO.

I know traditions vary across the US and I truly believe that if someone has a problem with a shower, they won’t attend. I have only been invited to one “second shower” that I remember. It was just a year and a half or so ago. At first I was more just surprised she would be having a shower, but I also knew that I would still attend. (Truth be told I was more offended at having to write out my own address on a provided envelope with a stamp for a thank you card at that shower then I ever even thought about being at a “second shower”.) I am not really an etiquette snob, but I think it is there for a reason. So while I am not a fan of second showers myself, I know they are done and that people love them and love buying presents for baby. I might raise my eyebrows a little at the invite, but would soon settle into thoughts of “what am I going to get for this baby!”

The gift card for the photographer from my book club was perfect. It was something I will use, it was well thought out and it was presented with only a small amount of fanfare. Thanks girls!

34 Week Appointment

Stats:

Weight gained total: 18 lbs
BP: 106/60
Heart rate: “146 bpm and strong, really strong”

All is still well. Talked with my doctor about the few contractions I had on Saturday, told him I sat down, put my feet up, drank water and they went away. He said that is good up until about 36 weeks, when if I go into labor they will let me go. He also reminded me that having a few contractions now and then at this point isn’t a bad thing as it is softening my cervix.

He felt the baby and asked me what I guessed the weight will be?

“7 lbs 12 oz,” I told him.

“Probably about right for term,” he said. “My guess is it will be 6 lbs 12 oz.”

“Works for me,” I said.

“1 lb less than your term guess since I bet you go at 38 weeks, not 40.”

Heart palpitations! But I don’t have the carseat out of the attic… HUSBAND! But I don’t have little itty bitty clothes washed (that are still in the attic… HUSBAND)! Panic. The guest room IS getting painted this weekend if I have to do it myself (and soften my cervix in the process). Gulp. And oh yeah, that puts me *right* at the time of my big industry client banquet and awards ceremony… I “need” to be at that.

I really and truly am ready to have this baby here. I do enjoy being pregnant, but I am ready for it to be over and to have an itty bitty baby in my arms.

I talked to him briefly about my maternity leave. I am not hugely optimistic. He told me that all he does is sign the papers he gets sent. I explained my dilemma that I have time banked that I can take 8 weeks off, but supposedly we need a really good excuse. He said we would get it worked out and left it at that.

Next visit is on the 20th and I will have the GBS test then and likely, my first internal to check for effacement and dilation.

--------------

Miss Pink Post-Doc is quite intrigued by my pregnancy and is one of the few people that asks about it everytime she sees me, and makes sure to tell me she wants to be pregnant soon (let me guess… she’s hoping for a girl?). I was sitting with she and one of the managers this morning. The manager’s wife is pregnant and due a few months after me so we were comparing notes. I was a little appalled to hear that THEY have the nursery nearly ready for their little girl. (grumble, grumble, grumble) Miss Pink was talking about wanting a baby and the manager told her to be very careful which water fountain she drinks out of, babies are booming around here right now and there is definitely something to that “what’s in the water” statement.

February 6, 2007: 34 weeks 2 days

I have a friend who is going through marital problems. One piece of advice I recently gave her is to remember that there is more than one way to do things. When your husband suggests going at things a different way, it isn’t always wrong, step back and be open to suggestions. I had a few opportunities this weekend to put this into play myself. I have my list of things to be tackled and in what seems to be a reasonable order, when AB jumps in and does something completely different it *probably* isn’t simply to annoy me.

AB worked really hard this weekend at getting things, everything it seemed, into the attic. This appeals to my nesting, organizing side. But what he didn’t do, however, was bring anything down. I freaked only a little when he said, “well we don’t need any of that until the baby is here!”

“Carseat!” came spilling out of my mouth! “Clothes need washed! All the other stuff I need to sort through BEFORE I have someone who needs it! How am I supposed to go through stuff and get the nursery ready AFTER I have given birth!” I was nearing my breaking point… where is his sanity?! And doesn’t he realize I am a hormonal, nesting pregnant woman? Do what I say, or else!

“Yes, but I would rather get Leif moved over to his room and have a nice nearly empty nursery to put all the baby stuff instead of constantly moving it around,” he explains.

He has a point. We just have no place to put stuff. Reasoning sets in.

“But that means you will be back up in the attic in 1-2 weeks,” I remind him knowing he hates to go up there. He is fine with that. With the “new” ladder, it isn’t such an inconvenience to go up there apparently. I suppose I can put off my need to lay hands on itty bitty clothes.

Side Leif funny about the ladder and the attic… Leif loves AB’s ladder and we are constantly trying to keep him away from it. Since he is very aware of things being “scary” lately we told him only daddy goes into the attic because it is scary up there. So he was surprisingly, very good at standing at the base of the ladder. He would go and stand there and yell, “Daddy?” AB would yell back, “what Leif?” “I watching you daddy.” I did get a little freaked out at one point though when Leif came running to me and said, “daddy has owies!” I went running (well as close as I can run) to the attic to find out what happened. AB tells me nothing has happened, he had no idea why Leif told me that.

I have less than 6 weeks left, give or take. My feet are swollen today and are barely fitting in my new shoes. Looks like I will be putting them in the back of my closet for a little while. I still seem to be the queen of random aches and pains and after a very long Saturday running errands it was very obvious I had pushed things too far. I wasn’t sure how I was going to finish my grocery shopping. I left with my groceries, skipping the last few aisles and picking up a bottle of water in the check out to drink pretty sure I was having mild contractions. Got home, put my feet up and told AB to unload the car while Leif and I watched a Little Einsteins. Things calmed down and I was fine Sunday. (Though AB did start with the comment, “now I am seeing why I should have brought the carseat down… it is the one thing we need from up there that will go to the hospital with us”. Umm yeah. Next appointment is Wednesday afternoon.

My updated list:

1. Paint guest room for Leif.
2. Leif is excited about the elephant and the new room, so get this finished up. Paint elephant on the wall of the guest room and move Leif’s toys.
3. Shelves for Leif’s books – I like this one:
Pull out the bins, use elsewhere and put the books in the cubbies. Easier for them to stand up this way too! AB… not on board. Why does my husband have to have a decorating opinion? Those of you who struggle with husband’s who never offer an opinion, rejoice.
4. Dresser for the nursery.
5. Bring the baby stuff down out of the attic once nursery is emptied out and Leif has moved.
6. Sort through the baby stuff. Figure out what should be donated versus kept and washed.
7. Buy more Newborn Diapers (need 1 more package and size 1's)
8. Pack bag (LIGHTLY) for the hospital.
-Camera and extra batteries
-Videocamera
-iPod and little speakers
-Going home outfits
-Comfy, but decent looking clothes for me going home. Maternity is a must... silly me last time thought I would be going home in regular clothes. (Don’t forget nursing bra!)
-Travel size containers of shampoo etc.
-Brush
-Toothbrush
-Chapstick
-Hair bands
-Soft socks
-Baby book
-Gift for Leif from baby
-(What else?)
9. Install infant carseat and get checked.
10. Pack Leif a bag for staying at our friends.
-Underwear
-Clothes
-Diapers for night (maybe… we will see how he does sans diapers in the next few days)
-Pajamas
-Extra carseat (maybe… depending on who might have to pick him up.)
-Blanket
-Pillow
-Teddy bear or lion
-Lunchbox
11. Birth plan. Ok, so I really didn't need it last time, but I need to have it just to remind me.
12. Write up list of phone numbers for taking to the hospital.

Living in oblivion

Some pregnant women complain about people commenting on how huge they are. Not me… my complaint is the “wonderful people” I work with who live in oblivion and have just realized I am pregnant… today.

I just got back from my one of my coworker’s offices. He is one of the few people I still work with regularly back from my post-doc time. We have had a paper in the works for the last year or so, usually when one of us has the time. Since spending time in the lab, on my feet, is just really unpleasant, I thought I would give this paper another good hard push. I was leaving his office after ambushing him with a multitude of questions, and mentioned to him that I wanted to work hard on this in the next 6 weeks so we could (maybe) send it off before I go out on leave.

He looks at me and says, “leave?”

“Maternity leave,” I told him.

“I didn’t even know you were pregnant! When are you due?”

My gut tells me to say ‘are you freaking kidding me, you didn’t know I was pregnant?’, but I smiled and said “six weeks” instead.

“Really!” he says, “well you just started showing then, huh? I swear you weren’t pregnant last month.” (Yeah, that’s it, I am 8.5 months pregnant and I just started showing. Rolling my eyes. And I am not touching that last sentence with a 10 foot pole.)

“J!” I exclaimed, “I am freaking huge! My shirts don’t even cover the bottom of my tummy, which with this wind just sucks! How can you even say you didn't know I was pregnant?”

He laughed and told me, “well it should be a compliment, you hide pregnancy well. And why am I always the last to know? I was the last when you were pregnant with Leif too!” (Ok, so he may have been the last to find out with this one at 6 weeks from my due date. But he was FAR from the last with Leif considering he found out at a Christmas party I didn’t attend thanks to a blabbermouth female coworker - Leif was born in late July.)

And can I just ask, why should my ability to “hide pregnancy” be a positive thing? And I was never trying to hide anything! I can laugh though, truly I am, because J is one of those single nuclear physicists I work with who has told me in the past that “after awhile your foot just starts to taste good in your mouth”. If he didn’t say weird off the wall things to me I would wonder if he hadn’t been kidnapped and replaced with a look alike spy.

You know, if this was an isolated incident from today, I probably wouldn’t be neurosing so much… but earlier today I was in the restroom in my building and one of the older women who works in my building came in.

“NM,” she says, “I haven’t talked to you in forever!” She turns around from washing her hands. “Oh my goodness! Are you… you know… I hate to even say it because if you aren’t I am going to kick myself since you never ask a woman if she is pregnant.”

“Yes,” I tell her and she is immediately relieved.

“I am so out of the loop,” she tells me, “I didn’t even know. When are you due?”

“Six weeks,” I tell her and I thought I was going to have to catch her.

“I walk by your office everyday and I didn’t even notice!” she exclaims.

Really, I am not trying to hide it. And the fact that I have had two of these episodes in one day makes me more wonder… I mean, I understand the “well I was wondering if you weren’t pregnant”, comments. But taking people completely by surprise? That doesn’t make me feel quite so great.