40 week appointment

Yeah, still here. Gah.

We went to my appointment this morning. Heartrate was good, 130's. Weight gain, 3 lbs... wow... but I swear it is all water. BP 126/64. (As AB says, "wow, that is high for you!")

Cervix, same as last week and not favorable. He said when he felt the babies head (internally and OUCH) that he pushed and the baby just floated up. Not engaged at all. He said he is starting to get concerned as the vast majority of moms at least have the baby engaged at just over 40 weeks. I don't.

He feels from positioning and such that the baby's back is against mine (all the kicking in the front of my ribs and the back pain I am having would jive with this) and the neck is arched, placing the baby's face looking down as I am standing up. This is not good. The baby really needs to tuck his/her chin and rotate to be favorable for delivery. That isn't to say we can't deliver the baby in this position, it is certainly possible as many women do, however, every day the baby gets bigger which becomes more difficult for that type of delivery.

We had a long talk with Dr. M about our options. I have always been fairly opposed to inductions without a strong medical need. My doctor is too. But going beyond 41 weeks-ish in any situation is what he deems a strong medical need. And he prefers second pregnancies to be on the lower side of that since second babies most often come earlier and later could indicate problems.

My options were presented as #1, to schedule an induction or #2, another NST on Friday, come back for an appt on Monday and if no baby schedule an induction for just past the 41 week mark.

Given the choice 2.5 years ago with Leif I would have opted for #2. I don't know if it is my age, my desire to finish this pregnancy, or just my fear of something happening to the baby (I was awake neurosing about the lack of movement at 3:30am), but we opted for #1.

I was given the option to pick my baby's birthday. I told my doctor that frankly, I didn't care to select a birthday. I want a day that works for all of us without a lot of external pressures. I asked him to pick for us. His suggestion was that I am admitted on Saturday night and we hope for a baby Sunday afternoon.

Saturday night the nurses will administer Cytotec to soften my cervix (likely every 4 hours). Then Sunday morning he will come in and we will start pitocin and hopefully deliver that afternoon.

My doctor is not one that is known in this area for having a high c-section rate, which is good. However, at this appointment today there was a lot of talk about the possible necessity for c-section on Sunday. I know he is just giving me all the possible scenarios, and I know intellectually that this is just another way to have a baby, and I am trying to look on the bright side of that meaning two more weeks paid off work, but I am still freaked out by this. I had such a good "easy" (if you can call any delivery easy) with Leif, I expected the same this time around. This pregnancy has been so vastly different though, I don't know why I expect the delivery to be the same.

He cited three possible scenarios with the induction that could warrent a c-section. We start the pitocin and I don't progress. Second, I get halfway dilated and we may find out there is a reason the baby isn't descending or I could fail to progress at that point. Third is that the baby is just too big, or can't get its head around my pelvic bone to come out and I can't push him/her out. The later two are things that can happen even if I go into labor on my own.

I feel like this post is a jumbled up mess of words. The appointment was hours ago and I am still processing it all with mixed emotions. I left the appointment in tears (dang hormones).