March 5, 2007: 38 weeks 1 day

I just need to get through the next few days. Today was emotionally difficult. This weekend and last night was physically difficult. I want a glass of wine (a BIG glass of wine) to relax with. I want to not be out of breath everytime I go answer the phone. (Which means if you call my house and I sound out of breath, do NOT ask me why I am out of breath.) Along those same lines, don’t walk by my office and say “well guess the full moon didn’t do it for you”. Don’t tell me I am not big enough to be 38 weeks (as if there is no way I am ready to have this baby) and don’t tell me “wow, you’re getting really big” (and especially don’t add on, are you sure you aren’t further along then you think?).

Last night I started having painful, irregular contractions. About every 10 minutes or so. Painful enough that I was trying to remember my breathing exercises. I knew in my head, it wasn’t time. I didn’t have painful contractions with Leif until I was at the hospital, it built up. Not just suddenly *blammo pain*. So I knew if I could relax, they would go away. After sitting on my exercise ball they did go away.

I think the thing that scared me most was how panicked AB got when I told him how much pain I was in and the thought that it could be time. Last time around my mom was here as an additional support person. This time around it is just AB and I. I know we will be fine, but it is just dawning on me now that not only is it just the two of us but we have a third little being to deal with too. It isn’t just us getting in the car and going to the hospital. Our wonderful friends are taking care of Leif and while I know that he loves them and we trust them, it is still different and more stressful then the first time around with having another person to organize and be cared for.

I got a lot done this weekend. The nursery is nearly set up. My bag is packed and with a little list inside of last minute things to grab, like my blow dryer. I don’t think my hospital had a blow dryer to use… my brush and comb, my cell phone charger. Things like that. I packed Leif’s bag as well and hopefully can convince him to leave it zipped and leave all the items in there. Just a few things to grab for him on the way out, his blankey and pillow mainly. I can’t help but think that I am missing a gazillion things. My bag is packed and it is about halfway full. (Leif’s bag otoh, is full and probably overpacked.)

My ongoing list of things to do is pretty much complete. The nursery needs a little refinement, but nothing that can’t be dealt with when we get home. The cosleeper needs to be attached to the bed and the changing pad set up in our bedroom on the dresser. So I really need to clear that off at least. I need to wash all the receiving blankets and burp clothes (tonight).

The goal for this week was to get through today (my industry project banquet and awards ceremony was this evening). Tomorrow Leif has a dental appointment for his chipped filling (and we are attempting to do this without sedation, someone brace me). I have my ob appointment tomorrow. Book club tomorrow night (which I am pretty sure I am skipping just based off how difficult my last few evenings have been). Wednesday is AB’s seminar presentation. Thursday morning we are scheduled to observe primary rooms at Leif’s daycare. If this gets knocked off the schedule because I am in labor then we will reschedule. Or just go with our gut on which room he is going into (trying to restrain myself from being one of “those moms”).