Hypocrite me

Today I got a phone call from a girl I work with. She tells me that she is organizing a lunch for me before I go on leave. Sounds like fun I tell her and she asks who she should invite. I give her names.

The lunch escalated and now between she, my former admin and one of my current admins they are hosting a "shower" next Wednesday. I said no, I told my former admin on the phone that I needed nothing, I just had Leif only 2.5 years ago, etc. She shushed me and said they wanted to do it and told me working in a group of nearly all guys is hard enough, they have to relish some girl time. Gack.

My "shower" is next Wednesday, lunchtime. I actually have no idea who all is invited. My invite was sent under a different header then everyone else's with a warning "be there or else".

I feel bad... kind of. I feel bad because I am not a second showers person, not really even a first showers person! And here they are doing this. And all the advice I pan out on pregnancy discussion boards on how to tell your host "no" or to insist on a diaper shower, just flew out the window. She would not take no for an answer.

The "kind of" part in the statement above is my selfish side. When Leif was born my group did nothing. I had pitched in for countless wedding presents, new baby presents, going away gifts, retirement gifts, etc. Then I had my first child and got nothing, didn't even get a card. My feelings were hurt. I did have a small shower months prior hosted by two of my admins and included about 8-10 women, a few I worked with, a few friends and a few wives of people I worked with. So I should qualify my "nothing" statement above.

Anyways, here I am... eating crow. My mom told me to calm down and get over it. Be grateful that they want to do something - especially since they didn't with Leif! Yeah, yeah. Still feeling a twinge of guilt.